Jacob Wycoff - Being Me » Infomercial

To Vince Offer: Your “Schtick” is Getting Old

jacob — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:33:01 +0000

I’ve written obsessively in the past about Vince Offer, the Shamwow guy (here, here, and here). He’s back with a new product called The Schticky. It’s basically a lint brush that stays sticky all the time.

“You’re going to clean your home in a quicky when you use a Schticky.”, he proclaims in the first seven seconds of the commercials. When was the last time you decided your home was dirty and you whipped out your lint brush?

I give Vince credit however. He does use some call backs from SlapChop and ShamWow commercials. He also makes fun of his own arrest back in 2009.

I am getting tired of seeing TV commercials with products that people waste money on. “Has boiling eggs become too difficult for you? Try the Egg Genie!” If you can’t boil eggs, you should promptly get hit by a bus. Products like the Egg Genie and Schticky are useless.

Check out the commercial below. Will you be buying a Schticky?

Can The ShamWow Mop Up Your Dignity?

jacob — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:29:41 +0000

There are reports that the spokeperson for ShamWow and Slap Chop, Vincent Schlomi, has been arrested. Not for soliciting a minor, as I predicted in my previous article. Instead, Mr. S. Wow was arrested for punching a hooker four times in the face.

Smoking Gun reports:

According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miama Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

Apparently Vince went to Miami and was away from all his groupies. I guess he did what any other washed-up infomercial star would do… he hired a hooker.

It seems like a pretty open and shut case until you look at the mugshot.

If you punch a hooker four times for biting your tongue, why do you have injuries that look like you fought Kimbo Slice?

Bail was set at $19.95… but wait!

Shocking Update: A certain nurse friend of mine has brought it to my attention that the ‘shirt’ Vince is wearing is actually a hospital gown. The print is called snowflakes. Geeze, this story keeps getting better by the second. Nothing like getting hospitalized from getting your ass kicked by a hooker.

Sham Wow Guy Strikes Again

jacob — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 04:28:03 +0000

Here we go again. I just saw a commericial for the Slap Chop, a kitchen tool that is similar to Magic Bullet but without electric power. You put the food under the chopping blades and you just slap the top. Easy as that. Check out the video.

Have we really gotten that lazy? “I don’t want to take an extra two minutes to chop onions.” This Vince guy (former Scientologist) is getting increasingly more annoying. Will you please sell yourself a muzzle? And what’s with that picture? It wouldn’t suprise me to see you on To Catch A Predator within the next month or so.