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Can The ShamWow Mop Up Your Dignity?

Mar29
2009
4 Comments Written by jacob

There are reports that the spokeperson for ShamWow and Slap Chop, Vincent Schlomi, has been arrested. Not for soliciting a minor, as I predicted in my previous article. Instead, Mr. S. Wow was arrested for punching a hooker four times in the face.

Smoking Gun reports:

According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miama Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

Apparently Vince went to Miami and was away from all his groupies. I guess he did what any other washed-up infomercial star would do… he hired a hooker.

It seems like a pretty open and shut case until you look at the mugshot.

If you punch a hooker four times for biting your tongue, why do you have injuries that look like you fought Kimbo Slice?

Bail was set at $19.95… but wait!

Shocking Update: A certain nurse friend of mine has brought it to my attention that the ‘shirt’ Vince is wearing is actually a hospital gown. The print is called snowflakes. Geeze, this story keeps getting better by the second. Nothing like getting hospitalized from getting your ass kicked by a hooker.

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  • Steven G

    Well he probablly has HIV now so can you blame him?

  • http://www.shamwowguy.com ShamWow

    No amount of ShamWows could soak up all of my tears after reading about this :(

  • http://www.jacobwycoff.com jacob

    Sorry Vince… Sounds like no one likes you.

  • Pingback: To Vince Offer: Your “Schtick” is Getting Old – Jacob Wycoff – Being Me

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